My "story" is, IMO, a fascinating one...but longish, and it has more to do with my personal odyssey to make my dream a reality in my life -- remember folks, this was PRE-Internet, the bdsm subculture was still something you truly had to work for! -- than that first "ping" of the lightbulb going on. So unless anyone is TRULY interested, and it's okay with the listadmin here, I won't waste our mutual bandwidth recounting that little saga here without at least one further, very specific invitation to do so.

As far as the lightbulb goes, though, as I remember it I just pretty much woke up one morning with a burning desire to investigate this stuff. As bdsm'ers go I am a very late bloomer indeed -- didn't get the Urge 'til I was 21 and married, but it was so comprehensively compelling that I devoted the next two years to *entirely* rearranging my life, resulting in my ACTIVELY becoming a "lifestyler" at 23. But when the lightbulb DID go on, damn near everything from my entire past romantic/relationship history (and a whole lot more, as well) fell into place, clickclickclick ALL AT ONCE, like one of those big domino displays that make the newscasts. Without doubt THE most major "ECNALUBMA moment" of my life. There was simply no question whether this was a true, worthy perception. There was no questioning it. It just WAS, and I was just finally acute enough to know it is all

I doubt that helps, hunh? (How to describe to a blind man the overwhelming experience of SUDDENLY acquiring sight??)

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