ust this evening, my wife was describing her soon-to-be-if-not-already divorced sister as being "...a total slut, she always *has* been" after I mentioned that I thought I had seen her with a new boyfriend. In fact, my wife has a similar 'slutty' opinion of a couple of girls she knows I went out with in college before I started dating *her*. In fact, she seems to have this opinion of *anyone*, including some of her best friends, who seems to actually enjoy sex. ouch. The other day, somehow it also sort of came up.. I forget what brough it on, she was getting ready to go out, maybe, and was looking pretty hot, I thought, and I commented that I thought she looked real good, and she joked around about not wanting to get hit on by some dumb guys or something, and I said, "Why not?" I mean, really, I see no harm in playful flirting, you know? and to that she looked at me and said, almost incredulously, "What, do you want me to be totally slutty?" to which I had to respond with a vigorous "actually YES!" I mean, no, I don't want her going around sleeping with any guy she meets, but YES, I want her to be slutty for ME, you know? If enjoying sex makes you a slut, then so be it, be a slut for pete sake.

My boyfriend went through this "phase" as I'd like to call it our last
semester of this school year, shortly after he turned 21. During this "phase",
he explained to me that he would like to go out and party with his friends on
Friday nights and that I should stay in the dorm with my girlfriends for
girls-nights-in. Well, the very first night he went out I could feel the
jealousy heating up when it reached 3AM and he still wasn't back at the dorm. I
knew there were other girls at the parties, but I also knew he would never cheat
on me with any of them. It is OTHER women that I worry about, seeing that there
was some drinking going on and maybe one of them would decide to get up on him.
I know he would turn away, but if he ever told me that something like that had
happened it would just bother me. It bothered me to think that something like
that MIGHT happen as I sat with my girlfriends not having such a good time
knowing that he was out partying without me. He just wanted that ONE night out
with his friends, and I couldn't take it. My thought-provoking point here is
that sometimes it's not always that us women don't trust our man, it's that we
don't trust other women around our man. Just the thought of another woman making
a move on my man makes me jealous, but I realize that I can't be behind him and
up his ass 100% of the time, just as he can't be the same for me. His partying
phase has since stopped since we have got out of school for the summer, and next
year we agreed that I will be joining him at said parties so I don't feel so
left out. How do other women feel about this? Gosh, writing it out makes me feel
like I am such a selfish person!

My "story" is, IMO, a fascinating one...but longish, and it has more to do with my personal odyssey to make my dream a reality in my life -- remember folks, this was PRE-Internet, the bdsm subculture was still something you truly had to work for! -- than that first "ping" of the lightbulb going on. So unless anyone is TRULY interested, and it's okay with the listadmin here, I won't waste our mutual bandwidth recounting that little saga here without at least one further, very specific invitation to do so.

As far as the lightbulb goes, though, as I remember it I just pretty much woke up one morning with a burning desire to investigate this stuff. As bdsm'ers go I am a very late bloomer indeed -- didn't get the Urge 'til I was 21 and married, but it was so comprehensively compelling that I devoted the next two years to *entirely* rearranging my life, resulting in my ACTIVELY becoming a "lifestyler" at 23. But when the lightbulb DID go on, damn near everything from my entire past romantic/relationship history (and a whole lot more, as well) fell into place, clickclickclick ALL AT ONCE, like one of those big domino displays that make the newscasts. Without doubt THE most major "ECNALUBMA moment" of my life. There was simply no question whether this was a true, worthy perception. There was no questioning it. It just WAS, and I was just finally acute enough to know it is all

I doubt that helps, hunh? (How to describe to a blind man the overwhelming experience of SUDDENLY acquiring sight??)

I would like to hear your opinions and thoughts abou one issue
that is bothering me a lot at the moment.. Sure, it might not
be nothing to worry about but I do worry so here we go.

I have been dating a lovely man, Sami, for a while now and after
thinking and discussing about it for couple of weeks we decided to
have sex for the first time in our relationship and finally set the date on
last weekend. Sami was excited, passionate and lusty and really made
me feel wanted.
We started w/ him "coming" between my breasts but that was the best
part there was to come, I'm afraid..

All went well, but then he seemed to be too nervous to
even "find his way in". I was getting a bit frustrated but kept on smiling
and acting normal so that he would not get "down". All went well until it
became clear to me that he would not be able to get his orgasm. Sure, it
gave me plenty of pleasure to enjoy of his erection as long as I wanted
to, but then it started to get frustrating. (I was supportive and did
nothing
to hurt his feelings, of course)
Poor guy had been worrying about coming too fast and then he didn't come
at all..

I spent three hours trying out just about every trick I know.
I tried to give him a blow job, we tried every possible position we could
think of, we tried masturbation, just fooling around and spending time
together..
Nothing.
We were not drunk (he had two glasses of wine, I had.. well, rest of the
bottle..Lol),
tried oral sex both w/ and without condom etc. He comes easily when alone
and masturbating but now all he had was a
beautifull erection and no orgasm.

I suffer from BPD and even though I was OK with everything at that moment
(and he has been thanking me many times for handling the situation in the
way
I did) I soon started to feel like shit, feeling that he didn't want me
anymore
etc. Anyway, I would like to know how likely it is that this was all about
tension?
Is it likely to be a problem in the future?
What can I do to make it all easier for him?
I know he was satisfied w/ just being with me, touching me and kissing me
but I still
feel bad for him. All insights are appreciated.

 

You deserve a man who is not married, who doesn't use the tired excuse that he must stay in a poor marriage for the sake of a child, who can't make up his mind and either leave his wife or stay and work on the marriage. You deserve a man who doesn't want to get out of one relationship only to immediately hop into another. You deserve a man who doesn't expect YOU to have to go visit HIM and who will take the effort to travel to see YOU.

This may sound harsh but you don't love this man because you really don't know him. You are in love with an image, a voice on the phone and an email address. In truth, you know nothing about this man other then what he has written you.

There will be bad times for a while but if I were you, I'd change my email address (or block his messages), block his phone messages and go on with my life.

IF he did have the courage to end his marriage, I'd require no contact from him for at least six months to a year; anything less and you'd simple be a "rebound relationship", no matter what he says.

I thought I would just say here in total honesty that I find men with thining hair or bald more attractive than guys with lots of hair.

As for breast size well I've never met a guy who didn't like them large, but fake is not what they seem to want. However I'm naturally large chested so I'm not likely to hear from guys that they like little ones.

Penis size is an issue that I would like to raise here, er maybe I could have rephrased that !

I have discovered that a lot of guys are quite hung up about the size of their penis. They also have difficulty believing that huge isnt an advantage no matter how often you tell them. I would like to hear mens thoughts on this as I think it relates to the female breast size issue.

Can I vent here! I am just about fed up! I started working last year in sales. First time I have ever work in sales. I usually help with husbands business, mainly to do bookwork and errands, banking,ect. A part-time job with this business. Anyway a friend ask me to work in his new company selling ag chemicals. I love it!! And must say that I am pretty good at it too!

Well, my hubby hates me working and will not help do anything around the house, very cool towards me, pretty much an ass-hole! Then expects me to cook, clean and have sex. The way he is treating me the last thing that I want to do is have sex with him. Thinking more of moving out!

Also, I like this extra $$ and can use it. My job with ag sales is busy right now but does slow down. So I am traveling a lot, but home by 4-5 pm. I feel like cinderalla. And he just sits in that chair of his not offering to assist with a thing!!!!! Oh...I am hot! Funny, he likes the extra cash too!!!!!!!